she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
