Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
