either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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