with your own penis?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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