why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
