why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
