i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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