i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
