why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
