You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
