You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i already hear my dad disowning me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
