he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
