Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
