party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
