I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
