11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
