i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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