Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
