just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
