I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
