glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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