I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think my fart just growled at me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
