Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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