I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
