no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize