youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
