It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize