How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
