I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
