I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
