I will die if light touches me.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize