In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
