This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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