i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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