Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
