i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
