Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize