peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize