If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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