Plan B is the new Plan A
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
