My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
