8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
