i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
