People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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