Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He shit in the fireplace
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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