This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
