Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love having hate sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
