he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fuck appropriateness.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
