sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
