Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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