i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
