I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
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