sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
