I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
