Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
