forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
